Coming Home (Philip)

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She found herself brought into high end apartment, the smell of newly washed carpet and furniture assaulted her senses but told her Philip hadn't been here long because his scent wasn't that heavy in the home yet. She felt his hand on her wrist, indeed he'd not let go of her since deciding to take her to his home.

She glanced about and saw boxes all over the place, "You always hated unpacking." she muttered softly but not unkindly as he still had her by the wrist and could easily hurt her if he wanted. She shivered slightly as she glanced about. "Why did you bring me here, Philip?" she asked him softly as she watched him lock the door behind himself. "Do you really think I'm going to bolt out of here that you need to go that far?" she asked him gently, a soft sigh as she tried to get her bearings.

The apartment was fairly modern. Not quite the southern home he had in Virginia but she didn't know if he even had that any more. She was afraid to ask too many questions for fear of encouraging him so she glanced about as he held her wrist. Her brown eyes were curious but not overly so, more waiting for him to speak and absorbing her surroundings. She was still feeling odd though and it was hard to keep focused. She wanted to curl up in a corner by herself and just wait whatever it was out. Her stomach growled like crazy and she blushed. Evidently some things were still working.

[Philip Aeren Ravid]

Philip decided not to answer in a way to what Mari mumbled about his unpacking because that wasn't anything new or a secret either so it didn't seem really that important to him to be honest. He let her glance around for a moment but then cocked his own head to the side when she asked him why he brought her here. His eyes narrowed before he could answer when she added the question about the door being locked clearly and gave her a stern look for a second. 'It has nothing to do with that, besides, way things are now, I could easily prevent you from doing that, but I know what kind of people are around you, how easily they can break doors down, so I got myself a fortified lock.' He stated simply and honestly before he nodded to the door and then smiled. 'You are safe here.' He added simply too while looking at her.

For a moment he let her be again as Philip walked to his liquor corner and table and grabbed himself a glass and a bottle from which he poured himself a drink and then put the bottle back and turned around with the glass in his hands, with which he walked close to her again and looked at her. 'Stop being so uncomfortable.' He stated and told her simply while stroking his hand across her cheek as he looked her in the eyes and smiled innocently. 'I'm not going to bite you.' He added, clearly meaning that unlike some people, Trenton obviously, he at least wouldn't do that and then use it against her by making her "his" with a bite mark. 'It's pretty primitive that Trenton thinks that it will scare me off, I don't care about what his message is with it, I care about that he did it to you in the first place.' He then stated seriously, all but happy with that Trent had done it to begin with.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She cringed visibly at the stern look. Curling into herself a bit instinctively. She still didn't know his temper and she was uncertain what might set him off, "I know you're stronger than me." she said softly as she folded her hands in front of her out of nervousness. "I see." she said softly to his statement that she was safe.

She saw him reaching for the bottle and turned away again, she didn't want him to think she was judging him and heavens knew she could understand why he needed a drink. She just prayed he wouldn't get irritable from it.

She instinctively leaned her face into the caress and closed her eyes, her body visibly relaxing at the sign of affection from him. The tension in her body seemed to go away as if it never was. She exhaled slowly and just enjoyed the moment for what it was. If he was being sarcastic it was lost on her as she just focused on him smiling at her and touching her cheek.

"I thought you were dead, Philip. I honestly didn't think it would cause such a dispute. I'm not...used to being fought over." she said as she tried to articulate her feelings, "I haven't slept with Trent." she said gently as she opened her eyes and looked up at him, "I don't know what more you want me to say. Its been ten years...I can't change the past. I thought..." she let her voice trail off and ducked her head in shame, "You'd be more upset about what my father did." she said as she tried to blink back tears, "I haven't done anything with anyone before or after that happened." her voice shook as she tried to get herself under control, "I'm sorry." she began to cry and tried to stop herself from bawling like a child but her change was making it hard for her to keep her emotions in check. She tried to keep her tears at bay but it was so hard, "P-Please d-don't hate m-me."

It was clear that at least in Mari's mind Trent's bite didn't mean all that much compared to her father's attack and she saw that as far more of an insult to some bite mark on her neck.

[Philip Aeren Ravid]

Philip's eyebrows went up when he heard how Mari stated that she knew he was stronger than her, mostly because he didn't really think about any of that at the moment, he wasn't really planning on fighting her, besides, in this state he wouldn't have to if he didn't want to. He nodded when she responded to his statement about that she was safe, or how she clearly looked at him when he reached for the bottle and poured himself a drink, if only she knew that it was something that would probably only help him more to keep his cool, to cool down even from his frustration of another of those damned failed and disastrous parties, and his conversation with Trenton and the look and the guys face.

Philip couldn't help but roll his eyes at Mari's words about thinking that he was dead, that she didn't think it would cause that much of a dispute. 'I came back for you ten years ago, I left to give you some space, to also give myself some, but that it was all a big deal then, doesn't mean that after those years, it still isn't, that's one of the earnings and sacrifices at the same time of being immortal isn't it?' He asked her as he shrugged his shoulders after that. His eyes narrowed at the mention of what her father did to her and then nodded. 'Of course I was, but your boyfriend and especially your mother, kind of took care of that for me mostly, besides... Don't take this the wrong way, but did it really surprise you that much? With what he was? With how he always treated you? Honestly... I was also angry at you, angry for not being smarter and staying away from him, the only good thing a vampire has ever done, was when your mother kept you away from him.' Philip said seriously as that was a lot for him to say about a vampire to begin with.

His eyes narrowed yet again and some more when she started crying and when she apologized, followed by how she asked him to not hate her, something that made him take a sip from his drink, with a stern look, and stepping closer to her again with which he looked her straight in the eyes. 'Stop.' He stated simply but clearly, actually ordering her to stop crying, to stop asking him that. 'Stop being such a mess, stop being the mess that your father and that Trenton made you, for one you should realize that I can't actually hate you, and second...' He said as he let his eyes wander over her body, more because of the change it was still going through and then looked her in the eyes again. 'Stop noticing it, what your body is going through is normal, stop fighting it, believe me when I tell you it will make it a whole lot easier, to just give into what you are right now.' He might be a Beta werewolf himself, but he wasn't under an Alpha, especially not the Alpha's here, and in a way maybe just like him, Mari was an Omega right now, which made it possible for him if he treated this the right way, he could influence her like an Alpha would a simple Beta if necessary.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

"I understand that you're upset, Philip. But what do you expect me to do about it? I'm not trying to negate your feelings but I cannot change the past. If you expect me to forgive you for the things you did when you were first bitten then you have to extend the same curtsey to me as well for anything I may have done that hurt you. I didn't do it on purpose to piss you off. Yes, I didn't really understand what it meant at the time but it wasn't done out of malice or spite. I didn't have him bite me to get back at you or punish you." she winced inwardly, "I moved out of my father's house. I was in the middle of the highway when he hired a bunch of thugs to shoot my limo driver and drug me and drag me off in the middle of a busy intersection. I can still remember the feel of the driver's blood spattering me as he drown in his own blood there on the highway. Do you honestly think I could have avoided it? Seriously? He was two steps from coming to Virginia and attacking me there. The only reason he didn't is that you responded to his bribe. He was destined to go bat shit insane and die. He knew it and so did I. He planned it that way so he could become an arch demon. Do you really think that some things aren't planned by forces greater than us?" she said as she felt her body tremble and twitch and she felt body searing pain that made her drop to her knees.

She looked away from him, she couldn't look him in the eyes, he scared her too much. She whimpered in pain as the change started to take over and she felt her form adjusting slowly, "It hurts." she whimpered as she looked at him and the sounds of her bones shifting and breaking began in earnest. She screamed and as her vocal cords shifted it turned into a pained howl of agony and anguish. Curling into a ball she closed her eyes and the shift happened from one moment to the next. One moment she was in the half way form and the next she was a small black female wolf that was huddled in the corner whimpering and howling in confusion. Loud and adjitated as she circled around her own tail a bit as if not knowing what it was.

***********
A few hours later she brushed her hair in the steamed up mirror. She'd weathered the transformation and Philip had offered her his shirt and a pair of sweat pants that had a drawstring. She padded out after her hair was dry. It felt odd using his hair brush, too personal but then she didn't have a lot with her. Exhaling softly she peeked around the corner, "I hung up my towel..." she said shyly. "I'm sorry all of this landed in your lap." she put her hands to her sides, his cuffs overhanging them slightly.

[Philip Aeren Ravid]

It was hard or him, but Philip had known that if he got mad, or too frustrated, it would only put Mari on more unease and scare her even more, something that he didn't want to do. So that's what he did when she had transformed, calmly as possible trying to get through to the actual her inside there, tell her that it was just her tail she was chasing, that she just had to calm down, that he knew how it felt, that she didn't have to be scared because unlike him, she had someone with her that would look out for her, make sure she'd be okay during all of this.

He was half sitting and lying on the bed in the room when Marina came back from taking a shower while wearing the shirt and sweat pants that he had offered her. He sighed when she apologized to him again and came off the bed until he was right in front of her and softly placed his hand on her cheek. 'Are you kidding me Mari? If I wished that anyone was with you if you ever had to go through it, it would have been me, so no, I'm not sorry, I am happy that you are here.' He said softly before he smiled and cocked his head to the side a little. 'You don't have to keep apologizing, I know I should, for enough times, but right now, this is about you, about you staying calm, knowing that it'll be okay, so just listen to me... I'm not mad.' He said as he took a deep breath and while biting his lip in fear of her still being scared and not believing him, he looked right into her eyes, still being able to stay calm, to keep his original plan that he still had of finding a way to turn her into this permanently to himself, right now... He meant what he said, even though a large part still realized and wanted to his his advantage right now.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She leaned into his hand instinctively, she always seemed to do that when he touched her and it was hard for her to articulate why. She wanted to call it a habit but at this stage maybe it was because she needed comfort and felt lost. "I'm tired." she said softly, her eyes starting to flutter in that way that he knew meant she had been through a lot, "Do you have a sleeping bag or something? I'm barely able to keep myself upright right now." she said honestly, she leaned against him and loosely hugged him, "Thank you for saving me back there, Philip. I didn't understand what you went through and while I kind of know now its still..." she exhaled not wanting to apologize, "Well thank you for being here." she said quietly.

Her body hurt. She just wanted to curl up and sleep and give her body a chance to recover, she felt physically wiped out. If she had been less tired she probably would have been more suspicious but she wanted to believe everything would be okay and she instinctively wanted to stay close to him."What happens now? I've never been a werewolf. I don't know how to be one." she admitted softly to him as she looked into his eyes and tried to shake herself a bit more awake and failing.

[Philip Aeren Ravid]

Philip held his hand on Mari's cheek as he looked at her and then smiled a little when she told him that she was tired, shaking his head when he asked him if he had a sleeping bag or something, or maybe he did, but that wasn't the point, he wasn't planning on letting her sleep on anything like that. 'No, but don't worry, the bed is comfy enough for you to have some rest.' He told her softly and with an innocent sweet smile as if there was no other intention involved with that sentence.

He closed his eyes then for a few seconds, enjoying her hugging him loosely, him hugging her back and pulling her closer to him so she could lean more against him as he also brushed some of her still somewhat wet hairs out of her face again. 'It's like nothing you can ever imagine... The feeling of your bones... I had to go through it alone, especially you, I would never let go through any of that alone and without help.' He guaranteed her and looked her straight in the eyes. 'Just listen to my voice, just relax your muscles, just let the feeling go through your body,don't fight it, don't think about it.' He told her softly while still looking at her and smiling.

'I honestly don't know, it depends on if you stay one or not...' He admitted honestly as he looked at her to her question about what happened now, that she never had been a werewolf and that she didn't know how to be one. 'But as long as you stay one...' He started quietly again, as he slowly pulled her with him to the bed and to sit on it and looked in her eyes again. 'I will make sure I tell and show you everything on how to ignore the bruised feeling of your body, to relax, and how to control it, control the anger, control the urges...' He said, not fully finishing that because of what urges were among those that he was referring to.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She looked at him suspeciously, "Philip, I..." she sighed, her body felt awful and she was too tired to fight with him, "I'm tired." she said again, her lower lip trembling in a way that he knew was her starting to cave in.

She relaxed into his embrace and nodded, her eyes heavy as she seemed to be lulled into a sense of security by the sound of his voice. It was as if he was acting like before. When they both were happy and understood each other. She was so tired and didn't want to think any more, "Thank you, Philip. she shivered and curled up against him for warmth. Her body stopped hurting so much and it felt good just to relax.

"I think the anger is going to be the hardest part. I get easily irritated as it is." she sighed softly and looked at him, looking alarmed, "Urges? I don't want to act like a slut." she looked horrified at the thought and shuddered closing her eyes and not caring at the moment that they were sitting on his bed. "You're already mad at me for what I HAVE had happened I don't want to act like a tramp and make you even madder." she shuddered and hugged him. "I don't want to act like someone I'm not."

[Philip Aeren Ravid]

Philip hadn't really said anything more about the suspicion clearly in Marina's eyes for a moment, but when he had embraced her, she seemed to relax more into it and feel more secure by that and the sound of his voice combined too. He still knew that he had to play this smart and in this current situation, a part of him also wanted it to, because a part of him still realized he'd never have become the somewhat twisted inside person that he was today, if his whole transformation and transition had been easier. 'There's no need to thank me.' Philip said calmly and in a soft voice while he still held her and felt how she curled up against his warmth, while at the same time he softly stroked through some of her hairs too with one of his hands.

No kidding, now you at least know how that came to be.[/i] Philip thought to himself, keeping himself under control from saying that out loud, since she had always blamed him so much for also being like that when they were back in Virginia, but things were so much more complicated now, something he had to do something about, he had to advance on his position. Maybe it was wrong to slightly compare this to a chess game, but in that case, Trent was still far ahead of him and he couldn't stand for that, not too much longer, not if he wanted to prevent to have to go to much more extreme lengths and ends of the Earth to get what he wanted.

'Just don't focus on it too much, but don't fight it either, that will only make it stronger and more persistent.' Philip told her as he looked at her and tried to advise her, although especially the anger part wasn't really for him to really give all too much advise about to begin with. 'So having urges instantly makes you a slut?' Philip asked as he pulled up his eyebrows and then shook his head before looking at her again. 'Having urges is something that actually remains from being human when you become a werewolf, it might be intensified, but if I've learned one thing, it's that you shouldn't be ashamed or afraid about it.' He sighed because of the terrified look in her eyes and the shudder that ran through her body. He pulled her a bit closer and while letting his one hand stroke softly through her hair, his other one gently stroked her arm for a moment. 'Didn't I tell you before that I'm not mad? The situation is complicated, very complicated, can you blame me for having a bit of trouble with that? But you of all people should know that if I REALLY was mad at you, I wouldn't be sitting with you like this right now, would I?' He asked her seriously, but still managing that with a calm look in his eyes to not make her think again that he was mad or something. 'Maybe, or you could see it as acting like something you weren't, because right now, it's actually exactly a part of who you are.' Philip said calmly and simply, before looking at her with a slight smile and trying to catch her eyes with his.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She seemed to relax even more as he ran his hand through her hair, a soft sigh as she felt the pack instincts kick in and she needed the security of having someone around. "Yes there is. I spent so much time yelling at you that its only fair I thank you when you help me." she insisted softly. If it was one thing Mari was it was fair. If someone did something nice she acknowledged it.

She picked up on his mood and hugged him tighter. Trying to let him know that she understood without getting long winded. She did sense he was thinking hard but he was always five steps ahead. He wouldn't tell her his thoughts anyway so she didn't bother to ask. She could probably guess.

"Everything is so confusing, Philip. My brain is feeling like its trying to swim through jello." she admitted as she rested against him, "Its not the urges. Its just... she couldn't put it into words, "I don't know the right words. I'm not.." she exhaled, "I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself or do something stupid." she admitted as she looked at him, "I mean for you its easy. You're a guy. You're expected to be suave and stuff. I mean you don't play Phantom if you're a complete idiot in the romance department. You always had women crawling on you. I always had to watch anything I felt because if my father picked up on it..." she exhaled, "And for ten years I've been allowed to feel things but I didn't want..." she sighed, "I don't rush into things. It seems like every guy I've ever liked has either had to leave or has complications. All I ever wanted to do was have sex AFTER I was married I wanted the kids the nice house and to sing music. I didn't ever think I'd end up like this. Its just hard."

Her body relaxed as he held her close and she nestled into that spot that was so familiar to her back when things were much simpler. She rested her head on his chest and then looked up at him when he caught her eyes. She was almost in this trance like state between being asleep and awake. She didn't want to think any more. She just wanted to stay like this for now. Feeling safe and with someone who knew who he was.

[Philip Aeren Ravid]

Philip slightly looked way for a moment while biting slightly on the inside of his cheek as he let the words Mari said go through his ears and his head, letting them repeat a few times in there. 'It's only fair from me too.' He said before he looked at her with his head cocked to the side slightly but looking her in the eyes. 'In the end it was better that I had to do it without you, if I had injured and/or hurt you even more, I honestly don't know if I would have forgiven myself, and you don't deserve to even ever have to ask that question.' He said as he smiled while looking at her. But it was really something that in his own way, he sincerely meant.

Philip closed his eyes again when Marina hugged him tighter, enjoying the feeling of her holding him so close, the feeling of her wanting to be so close and wanting to let him know that she understood. 'You are here with me, you won't embarrass yourself, or do something stupid, and I promise you I won't let you hurt anyone.' He told her when Marina started how it wasn't the urges but that she had a slight hard time really describing it, but Philip still thought he understood and thus tried to calm her and her thoughts down with those words.

Philip listened again, to the story about how it was easy for him, that he was a guy and that you didn't play Phantom either if you were an idiot in the romance department, all things he could agree with, but even with Philip, it wasn't as simple as everyone saw it with him. 'Even before I changed I always had this dream of being famous enough to have whole groups of groupies drooling over me, and indulging myself with them, but that did change when I met you... But it only came back tenfold in strength when I was turned, and it changed more into an indescribable urge that I couldn't resist...' He said while shaking his head for a moment while looking to a random spot in front of him but then turning his head to Marina and looking at her. 'I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to stop him, I wanted that to happen even less than you being with a vampire...' He admitted while shaking his head but locking his eyes on hers again and stroking her cheek again with one of his hands. 'You shouldn't focus on the hard and bad, you should focus on the good and the nice things, that's one of the biggest things I've learned since then.' He told her softly.

He looked at her with his eyes still locked on her once she had put her head on his chest and looked up at him, noticing that right now she very much wanted to stay like this, that she felt safe, a feeling he just loved to see and notice from her, that he could still give it to her, and that he also didn't really have to use any actual manipulation or something in his opinion for it, like fate just decided to throw him a bone so to speak. 'Just relax, you're safe here, and that I'm here for you.' He said softly and gently again while still looking at her and while stroking her cheek again, he bowed his head forward toward her slowly and subtly before he actually kissed her.

[Marina Anne Sinclaire]

She nodded slowly as he made his admission and relief filled her features like a weight of guilt was sliding off her shoulders. She actually almost seemed to sag against him as if she'd released a hundred pound boulder from her back.

"I don't want to hurt you or disappoint you either. If you hadn't met me you probably never would have been in this mess. You'd have found someone normal who didn't have a psycho family and gone on to be a world famous actor touring with his wife and kids. I just feel bad that meeting me changed that for you. I feel like..in a way I took it from you and then had to leave you with nothing and nothing I say will ever make up for it." she ducked her head and admitted it softly to him, "That's why I keep apologizing. I mean I always knew my life was weird but yours got weird because of me. Bad things happen to people because of me. I was a freaking angel I'm supposed to make lives better not cause them to be more messed up than they were." She trembled softly against him, "I just...I know people make their own choices but that doesn't mean I want them to have bad ones only."

"I didn't know. I thought maybe you just got tired of me waiting to sort my shit out." she admitted softly, "I mean you didn't sign on for half of what you got. And when you came back I was like "Well, we're not together who am I to tell him anything? He's his own person." I even tried not to say anything about the drinking and such. I'm sorry that my personal issues got taken out on you." She blinked and looked down, "Sometimes things happen for more than one reason. It motivated people to kill him and stopped something worse from happening." she shifted in his arms slightly so her butt didn't go numb and exhaled, "As bad as it was. I handled it. If he'd done that to one of my friends or someone I cared about I'd have carried that guilt with me forever. I mean heck I was an angel. I had a better connection than most people so it helps." She leaned into his hand gently and closed her eyes, "My job is to put off the apocalypse I don't get a whole lot of time to do what I want. Even if I'm a werewolf I would still stop that from happening. Its my responsibility to keep the world going otherwise there is no point to any of it. THAT'S why I couldn't go off with you. Its too important to keep the world from ending, Philip. I have to help people that are meant to stop the end of the world. Its my job and no amount of bitchiness is going to stop me from doing that. I'd just keep trying to help." she said the last joke with a slight smirk. "That's why I can't be selfish. That's why I never chose. I didn't want the decision stopping my greater purpose."

She relaxed sleepily in his arms, her head nodding slightly as she went to drift off, exhausted by her admissions to him. She sighed softly and tried to burrow in to sleep, like wolves in a pack sometimes do but then he kissed her and it was like someone sent a jolt through her body. Her base emotions kicked in as a werewolf and she stopped thinking, kissing him back without even asking herself why she was doing it.